A long-awaited bucket-list trip to the Scottish Highlands.

I often find myself reading a travel article in Mojo, thinking “OMG, I wish I could do that!” And now I can say I have, with a bucket-list trip to the Scottish Highlands. Here is the story: the good, the bad, and the cow pie.

My daughter has lived in Scotland for 10 years, working as an historian for Historic Environment Scotland, and as my wife and I visited and became familiar with the incredible geography, amazing roads, beautiful scenery, historic attractions — and driving on the wrong side of the road — I developed a dream of riding a motorcycle in the Scottish Highlands. My buddy Vince and I have done a week-long annual trip for many years, covering the Gaspé, the East Coast, New England, the Blue Ridge Parkway, and the Triple Nickel, just to name a few routes, so we developed a plan to celebrate a milestone birthday with a trip to Scotland. 

Planning included everything from bike rental to routes and accommodation. May of 2020 was the target date, but we all know what happened to most travel plans that year. However, three years later — Scotland 2023, what became known as “The Fish and Chips Tour”, became a reality. 

Rental And Time Of Year Details

A Google search will list motorcycle rental companies in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Inverness. We chose Highland Motorcycle Hire (highlandmotorcyclehire.co.uk) in Inverness for a couple of reasons: the immediate proximity to the Highlands; and as such, less traffic and a relatively easy introduction to driving on the left side of the road, using roundabouts, and riding single-track roads.

HMH owner Raymond Macallister is a real character — a true Highlander with lots of stories and, most importantly, a love of motorcycles. He has some 20 machines out for hire at any given time, and he knows his market. The rental packages include the bike of your choice, insurance, and any kit you need — helmet, jacket, pants, boots, gloves, GPS, rain gear. Raymond has it all and it’s in good repair. 

First impressions can be a bit misleading as HMH is located in an Industrial Park in Muir of Ord, and Raymond’s main business is auto repair. But make no mistake: Raymond is a rider, and in season, his priority is the bike business. Rates for most bikes are 940£ per week for everything from a BMW F750GS to a Triumph Tiger 900 to an Africa Twin CRF1100L — but you can move up to a BMW R1250GS for 1,125£ per week. 

We chose late May as our time frame to beat the busy tourist season, especially in the Highlands, which can become clogged with “caravans” (vans, camper vans, trailers, etc). Apparently, this was fortuitous, as our timing turned out to be just before the midges came out for the season. Midges? Think mosquitoes only a lot smaller and a lot more irritating.

Scotland has been busy branding a driving route called The North Coast 500, appealing to everyone from those travelling in cars to campers, bikers, and cyclists. For this reason travelling in May, or September/October, is recommended. And I can’t stress this enough: you should book everything in advance! The Highlands are a very seasonal destination and accommodation, and sometimes even meals, should be reserved.

Let the Adventure Begin

Our trip got off to a rocky start. The plan was to fly British Airways to Heathrow, with a two-hour layover then a one-hour connecting flight to Inverness. Our flight was delayed, and our flight to Inverness was cancelled, so day one was spent seeing the sights of London. We walked 18 km that day and, speaking from experience, doing that in motorcycle boots is not recommended.

Vince and I are firm believers in the adage “it’s not an adventure till something goes wrong,” so we just rolled with it and caught the flight to Inverness the next morning, in time to pick up our bikes on the day and time that we’d booked them anyway. I must say, though: when my checked dry bag didn’t arrive in Inverness, the “adventure” started to feel like a disaster. However, I did an inventory and realized that I had my helmet as a carry-on, so by purchasing a few toiletries and following a strict laundry regimen, I’d be fine.

I hadn’t packed any other riding gear as I knew that Raymond could set me up with everything. This was a good lesson in what you actually need to pack, and what to put in your checked luggage versus your carry-on. Vince, on the other hand, had packed his jacket, pants, gloves, and other gear, all impressively vacuum-sealed. We brought our own helmets because they are set up and paired with Cardo Packtalk communicators.

Our first day was spent riding southwest toward the coast and the Isle of Skye. It was a great introduction to riding in the Highlands, throwing everything at us without it being overwhelming.

Skye has a well-earned reputation for majestic beauty and great roads, and perfect weather only added to a fabulous first day. I might as well get this out of the way now: we had perfect weather, every single day, the entire 11-day trip. Trust me, this is not normal.

Stunning Scenery

Our stay at The Old Inn, in Carbost, Skye, included a beautiful setting, a great pub with live music, and our first official fish and chips!

The next day was a loop around Skye, just to confirm the great roads, a stop at Dunvegan Castle, and then back on the mainland, up the iconic Bealach na Bà (pass of the cattle) on our way to Applecross on the coast. The “bealach” snakes its way up between two massive ridges, including three or four hairpin turns at the top as a final flourish. Then down the other side, which was equally impressive for the stunning views across to Skye, not to mention an accommodating stag who posed on a ridge, just for us!

The Hartfield House Hostel in Applecross was a first-class facility, and as we settled in, we were finding it hard to believe that we were in Scotland, on some of the best motorcycle roads in the world, bellies full of beer, and — yup — fish and chips, ready for more.

Our day three was an epic journey up the west coast of Scotland from Applecross all the way to Kinlochbervie, which is a lesson in map-reading. What we thought would be a very long day wasn’t bad at all, and our geography lesson was captured with the comment, “you can fit all of the U.K. mainland (England, Scotland and Wales) into the province of Ontario three times!”

North Coast Road

Day four saw us heading across the top of Scotland to Thurso, in time to catch the 90-minute evening ferry ride to the Orkney Islands. It must be said that this stretch of the north coast road is comparatively bleak, and I suspect a windy day would make for a challenging day. Still, the stone walls, a few hundred thousand sheep, and the views out to sea made for a great ride, and we had time for stops at the quirky artist’s village and the John Lennon Memorial Garden in Durness
(Lennon spent his summers there as a boy), and the impressive, and free, museum in Thurso.

Orkney is a completely different experience, with its incredible historic sites, lush green countryside, and agricultural economy. A personal highlight for Vince and I was the Italian Chapel, a Quonset hut that was given to the Italian prisoners of war in the Second World War to serve as a place of worship.

The Italians were tasked with building “The Churchill Barriers,” causeways built with massive concrete blocks designed to block access to Scapa Flow where the British Fleet often lay at anchor. The Chapel is simply incredible, with its plastered interior painted to portray the interior of a church, and to see it in person brought tears to our eyes. As Vince said, “It’s not just the skills they employed to build and paint it, it’s the humanity that allowed them to do so.”

We were packing a lot into our fifth riding day on Orkney, as it is home to several of the world’s most treasured sites, representing some 8,500 years of human settlement, from the Mesolithic and Neolithic tribes, to the Picts and to the Vikings. Stops included the Standing Stones of Stenness, the Ring of Brodgar, Skara Brae, Birsay, and the Broch of Gurness.

Fresh Pie, Anyone?

And that’s where things got a little juicy … did I mention the agricultural economy?

As we rounded a turn, I had no sooner noticed a black spot on the pavement, than I was in it — a deceptively fresh cow pie that splattered all over my left leg and boot, and all over the side of the bike. A kilometre later we were in the Broch of Gurness parking lot, and I was in the North Sea, trying, and failing, to wash fresh cow pie off my pants! This is not the look that bikers generally aspire to.

Some borrowed paper towel from a wary couple in a camper van did little to clean me up, so we headed for the nearest spray n’ wash where Vince enjoyed watching me blast cow patty off my pants, boots and bike. This was followed by some awesome pub food in Kirkwall and some cow-a-dunga laughs.

Day six began with a sunrise ferry back to the mainland and a brisk rip down the east coast into Inverness. I must say that Highway 9 (known as the A9) doesn’t seem to get fair treatment in reviews, but for us at least it was a fabulous road with plenty of curves and dramatic views over the North Sea.

Honouring Family

We stopped to have a moment to honour my Uncle Reg, who flew bomber missions over the North Sea and into Germany. Reg escaped death on numerous occasions, and if you want to read some real-life human drama, just Google “Crash” Harrison.

We made a quick stop at the Inverness Airport to collect my dry bag and lash it to my pillion and then made a stop at the Culloden Battlefield. After some sobering thoughts about war and its human cost, the afternoon saw us back on spectacularly twisty roads through the Cairngorms National Park to Ballater, a very cool village known more for its proximity to the Royal Family’s Balmoral Castle than for being biker central in the middle of biker heaven.

The day ended with another emotional moment as the ever-thoughtful Vince produced two candles and lit them on the front steps of the local Church to mark the 27th anniversary of the passing of his father, and the recent passing of his mom, a Scot.

Skeletons in the Closet

Taking a break from riding, the next three days were spent in Edinburgh visiting my daughter and her husband. If you really want to immerse yourself in Scotland, I recommend you get yourself a daughter with a PhD in Scottish History. We did fit in a quick trip south of Edinburgh to check on Crichton Castle, just to make sure they were keeping it up. It still doesn’t have a roof, windows, central heating, or occupants. My mothers’ parents were Crichtons and immigrated to Canada from Aberdeen. Another quick Google search will reveal that my ancestors were a sketchy bunch, involved in The Black Dinner at Edinburgh Castle, the inspiration for The Red Wedding in Game of Thrones.

Day ten saw us back on the road and increasingly aware that our magical trip was winding down. Our route included a stop at Doune Castle (Outlander, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail), and yet another amazing road as we skirted around Loch Lomond and Loch Fyne on our way through Inverary to just south of Oban.

Our final day did not disappoint with stops in Fort William, the Commando Memorial overlooking Ben Nevis (Scotland’s highest peak) and a final unforgettable road along the coast of Loch Ness. There may have been fish and chips…

After reluctantly returning our bikes, we had time for dinner with friends and to review our epic journey. Vince and I reflected on the fact that our trip happened because we were jealous. Jealous that so many others have pulled together the trip of a lifetime. Why not us? And with a high five and a “We did it!” we boarded our flight for home.  MM